A Hard Humbling Lesson

A Hard Humbling Lesson
08.06 - 07.2008

17 Though the fig tree does not bud
and there are no grapes on the vines,
though the olive crop fails
and the fields produce no food,
though there are no sheep in the pen
and no cattle in the stalls,

18 yet I will rejoice in the LORD,
I will be joyful in God my Savior.

19 The Sovereign LORD is my strength;
he makes my feet like the feet of a deer,
he enables me to go on the heights.

- Habakkuk 3:17-19

I’m no farmer that has fields of fig trees, grape vines, or olive crops that has gone barren and empty. Nor do I have empty pens of cattle and empty stalls of sheep. But I do know what it’s like to have much taken away, to have an empty fridge, and to have lost people I loved – to both death and unwise decisions. Even more so, I know what it’s like to be without a job and to have no family, or old friends, around to comfort and pick me up when I am down, out, and depressed.

I have lived on both sides of this spectrum, having before had so much to having so very, very little.

"He replied, 'I tell you that to everyone who has, more will be given, but as for the one who has nothing, even what he has will be taken away. (Luke 19:26)

I used to think to myself, what the heck does that mean, “for the one who has nothing, even what he has will be taken away.” How do you take away something from nothing, right? Being Humbled by God like this, I finally understand. I had everything I needed – friends, church, money, cars, a wonderful girlfriend – all right there for me. God even blessed me with leadership, allowing me to lead a men’s devotional group, as well as a mini-church. I saw prayers answered like I never seen before. This was me, being given more by God.

Then came the last two years of my life, where I gradually fell into drinking excessively; where I acquired alcoholism – stage 4 (if you’ve been to an alcohol class, like I have, then you would understand). I tried to kill all the pain in my life with alcohol, but it only made things worse. I began to blackout, have uncontrollable fits of anger, and depression. During this period I started cutting and burning myself with knives, lighters and cigarettes when I was drinking, and when I wasn’t. This terror in my life devoured me, my relationship with friends, the love of my life, my relationship with God, church, and work.

If you were to tell me, years before, that this would happen, I would have never of believed it.

Through this season and up until this very day, God began to take things away from me. My leadership, friendships, jobs, integrity, and even family were now significantly gone. My decisions lead to these things, and God allowed these things to be taken away so that I would be humbled and once again turn back to who should have remained the foundation of my life – Jesus Christ.

I was left with nothing, and what God took away from nothing was the God sent gifts, talents, responsibilities, and even answered prayers.

Now here I am in my own dark world, cut off from everything and everyone I had known. But instead of getting angry and furthering myself from God, I turn to him once again. I seek him more diligently then before, I slowly change my ways as God gives me strength. Even being jobless, not having very much, I give God praise as Habakkuk once did. My actions are not because God is being favorable to me, but because he deserves my worship to him, because my hope is in Him who both gives and takes away.

From having much, to having little, I will give God praise. Whether I get a job, and through whatever hardships come my way, as hard and as hurting as it feels and seems, I will continue to believe, trust, and worship my maker.

A hard humbling lesson indeed...

Living day to day, give God praise,

Ikaika Mossman